The Joy of Giving Center

Having recently descended to once again stick my big toe into the dating pool, my inner workings have run me up one side of the mountain and down the other on this subject of “love.” I am exhausted, and this is as good a time as any to pause.

Still, I am intrigued by Susan Mernit’s piece, “When do you say the “L” word?” Here is the part I find most intriguing about this whole topic: I am able to feel love for someone who proclaims not to be able to feel love for me.

How can that be?

I mean really, isn’t love suppose to be this effervescent, all-consuming, pollutant that permeates every space of our environment like the aroma of truckloads of blossoming roses in an open air market?!! How is it possible for one individual to inhale a whiff of love’s perfume only to completely miss the snout of the living, breathing pile of deliciousness snuggled up an arm hair’s space away? I don’t know about you, but to me it does not seem possible. However, my life’s experiences assure me first-hand that this may be so—or at least that is what they tell me... Or it may be that the warm specimen by my side is congested and therefore truly inhales the reason-blurring, mind-numbing, sensitivity-exploiting toxin sometime later following a good head clearing. But by the time we get this far, the drama has spun to a new level…at least for some of us I hear.

So anyway, intention is direct my thoughts back to what is real. What is it I truly feel? Then I listen for what needs to happen next—and remarkably my still small voice responds with useable answers. I have discovered it is not always necessary to say what comes to mind [or heart] in words, in part because it is steadily evolving, in part because words uttered may reek havoc on an other wise enjoyable, embryonic moment.

It is a different way for me to be in the world. But if figure it offers a unique way to both give and receive.

In joy,

Umoja